Anger is an important feeling that most people experience at some time or another in their lives. Anger is not always a negative thing. Sometimes anger is justified and can be used to ensure you find a solution and act on it. So, to ensure that you control and reduce but also use anger appropriately, check out these ten tips.
Small Steps to Consider
1. Take Time Out
This is especially important if you find yourself becoming angry around other people or animals. Don’t let it continue. Instead, neutralise it by taking time out so you can collect your thoughts and approach the issue in a more positive manner.
2. Count it Down
Sometimes, all you need to do is count down before you respond. If you’re with someone, take a deep breath and count in your mind, not out loud. Your job is to de-escalate not make it worse.
3. Go for a Walk
Burning off anger works too. Get away and walk at a moderate to fast pace for 20 to 30 minutes. Anytime you feel anxiety or anger coming on, burning it off with physical activity is a great way to get it under control.
4. Focus Your Breathing
Have you ever watched a baby breathing in their cot? If not, find a video to watch one. They breathe properly into their diaphragm, and their tummy rises and falls with each breath. Breathe in through your nose deeply, hold it slightly, and then out of your mouth carefully and slowly.
5. Repeat a Mantra
This really works well if you find that you have parts of your day that are overcome with anger due to work or other situations you have no control over. Find a mantra you can repeat such as “this won’t matter later” or something you prefer so that you can repeat it in your mind or out loud to help pull yourself away from the anger.
6. Have Some Quiet Time
Quiet time is essential for your brain to be able to reset. If you find a way to have more quiet time each day, at least 20 minutes, you’ll find that your memory is improved, and your emotions are easier to control because you can control your thoughts better.
7. Take Positive Action
Some issues that make you angry need attention in order to help you resolve your anger. If this is one of those cases, when you have control over the outcome, take positive action sooner rather than later.
8. Focus on Gratitude
Every single day, find a way to focus on what you’re grateful for over what you’re angry about. Everyone experiences injustices and situations when they have a right to be angry, all anger is not bad, it’s how you react to it that will make all the difference.
9. Get Help
If you find that you’re experiencing a situation that you really cannot deal with on your own, find some help. You may need a Counsellor, a Life Coach or a Minister to help you.
10. Find the Humour
One of the best cures for anger is laughter. If you can find the humour in the situation, even if you were angry, it will often defuse the situation faster than anything else.
ENGAGE Top Tip
When your anger is justified, find one of the tips that enable you to find a solution first, and use other tips to help you control your emotions. Anger is not always bad, but you can often get the same outcome by focusing on the positive actions you can take to overcome the problem.
Quotes to Ponder
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it to someone else, you are the one who gets burned.”
– Buddha: popularly known as the Buddha was an ascetic, a religious leader and teacher
“The first key to leadership was self-control, particularly the mastery of pride, which was something more difficult to subdue than a wild lion, and anger, which was more difficult to defeat than the greatest wrestler. He warned them that if you can’t swallow your pride, you can’t lead.”
– Jack Weatherford: DeWitt Wallace Professor of anthropology, Minnesota
Ask Yourself This
What emotions are behind my anger?